But you’ve written to me to say you don’t know what to do. So, I would strongly suggest that you keep the appointment with the counsellor. Quite possibly, you feel you don’t really know how going will help. Often people think what’s the point because the cause of the problem is simple, he’s gone and I’m distraught. But sometimes counselling can help people to explore what’s happened in a way that eventually helps with recovery. Family and friends are a big help some of the time but quite naturally, they all have their own take on what’s happened. In my experience, that can range between “He wasn’t worth it, let’s help you to forget” to “let’s dissect what’s happened” and sometimes, most unhelpfully, “if you’d done this or that, maybe he’d still be around”. Family support has its place but right now I would say the neutral space that counselling can offer may be a place where you can move on at your own pace. Seeing them isn’t going to make the pain go away, but it might help you in more ways than seem obvious right now.