Why can't I get a boyfriend?

I want you to take a look at that second to last sentence.

What you write there is at the nub of the problem you feel you have. I sat this because it suggests you’re seeing things through a very black and white lens.  What you’re saying there is that ‘there’s something wrong’ or ‘you’re doing something wrong’ and ‘there’s a definite way people should evolve/be/do by a certain point in their lives’. I can tell you now that if you let go of all of that worry, you’d find there is absolutely nothing weird about your experiences so far. I’m afraid your friends are right when they say there’s plenty of time to experience the things you most want. I also know how infuriating it is when people say stuff like that because (and which perhaps you think I’m doing here too) it can feel like they don’t understand how sad and lonely you might be feeling.

However people might identify, as you say, some do fall in love when they’re very young– puppy love if you want to call it that (although I’ve always thought that phrase undermines the very intense feelings that go with those first experiences). They’re real, powerful, marvellous, confusing and sometimes scary in equal measure. But there isn’t a date stamp on them. It doesn’t mean anything that you have or haven’t yet experienced the feelings you yearn for and maybe, as you say you didn’t feel ready. But now you do and it’s a different mind-set. The most important thing I can say to you is don’t judge yourself against everyone else. We talk a lot, don’t we, about how important it is to be yourself, go at your own pace and do things when you’re ready. But the problem is that actually, there’s so much pressure ‘out there’ to be a certain way, look a certain way and be seen to ‘achieve’, whether that’s having the perfect relationship/job/friends. It can feel relentless and ultimately undermining if we’re always looking around to judge ourselves by other peoples benchmarks. Try not to do that – it won’t serve you well….

So, my main thought here is that you’re doing nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you either. It sounds like you know who you are, you know what you want and you have key qualities that you should and others will appreciate. Coupled with that, you’re at a real life stage point which will I’m sure have so much to offer. At the risk of sounding very old and extremely boring I can assure you that life is waiting for you along with all its joy, confusion and sometimes pain and disappointment. My advice? Embrace all of it because it will help you on your way to finding those people who will love and cherish you.