Christmas is a magical time for children and every parent wants their children to have an enjoyable experience and a chance to make memories and build traditions
Whether you are divorced, separated, living alone or single with a co-parent you have to share your children’s time with, Christmas can be challenging and getting things agreed before the festive season is key.
Christmas Traditions
It’s important to build good traditions for Christmas and the festive season. Whatever your beliefs children will build lasting memories of this special time with family and friends. If your circumstances have recently changed then new traditions may have to be developed,
This time of year, can be especially difficult if your circumstances have recently changed, and new routines will need to be developed. The important thing is to do what’s right for you and your children, considering your relationship with your ex-partner.
Children can still enjoy Christmas - spending separate time with each parent and this can be a positive experience for them.
Reaching Agreement
If you can communicate with your ex-partner about what arrangements can be made; think about the boundaries around, presents, bedtime, pocket money, diet etc. What works best for your children? You as their parents are the experts in knowing what they need.
At this time of year, try to focus on reaching agreement for what will happen at Christmas. Leave other issues aside if possible, and work on what the children need.
Putting your children first
It’s important to talk to your children at a level they can understand about what they want and what will be happening, while managing their expectations.
If you make an agreement, use your usual means of communication to clarify what’s agreed- It can be helpful to put this in writing via email or text to avoid any misunderstandings. Try to put your children’s needs first and avoid using children as go-betweens.
Don’t forget extended family
If possible include the children’s extended family. Let them know what has been agreed and ask them to support you both as co-parents in making this the best possible time for the children.
Attitude is everything
Your children will take their cue from you, if you are positive about the arrangements your children will be too.
It might feel like a difficult time for you but what your children need is to feel safe and loved and to have time with both parents over the festive period.
Remember children are resilient they can cope if they feel you are!
We can help
Whether you want to talk through your feelings with a counsellor, or if you need something more structured to meet with one of our mediators together to agree the plans. We are ready to help you.
Contact us now at info.NTC@relate.org.uk or call us on 0300 003 2324.